A strange week ending

What a bittersweet day. R came with me to the funeral of my brother's father in law. And R realised it was probably the last time he would see my family (of whom he is very fond).Melancholy all round. Tears this evening.
And tomorrow I return to the scene of the announcement as I head to our house in France. I haven't quite allowed me feelings to emerge on this one- it could be a long week.

Imagining...

Because we're still living in the same house, I find it hard to imagine what the future will be like. If I can only tame the terrors of poverty and growing old alone, I might begin to imagine a new life.
It's pointless going over all that I will miss - the easy companionship, the laughter, knowing that there is someone who would do anything for me.
What will I gain:

• not having to check before accepting invitations
• doing things on the spur of the moment

Oh - in my head it felt like more :(