I'll admit it - I'm bemused. Less than a month ago I was blissfully unaware of the impending storm. I'm wrestling with the implications, still unsure how or whether to fight back.
But as far as he is concerned, the ties are being cut. Email addresses are being changed; boundaries are being drawn (he cleaned upstairs today - but wouldn't hoover our - I mean, my - bedroom).
Our marriage has had little spontaneity in terms of going out for the day - he's always had work to do, other calls on his time, pressure that would come from taking time off. Yet today, when I have been out working, he has trundled off, not returning till well after 9.
Maybe I should have insisted on more 'us' time. But it was easier to walk the road of least resistance.
And now I know that was wrong. Why didn't I see it before? How did we spiral to this so quickly (or is it only quickly in my mind?)?
I am so sad, so frightened of the future. I don't want to live without my best friend, the companion I love. But he doesn't want to live with me.
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